The Truth About Sex With Smaller Penises – Part 2! 3 Women Weigh In

 Two years ago, this topic became one of my most-listened-to episodes—so we’re bringing it back.

In Part 2, I’m joined by two sex-positive women from different age groups to answer the questions men keep asking and go deeper than before.

We cover:

• What women actually think about penis size
• Why confidence matters more than length
• How oral, grinding, toys, and anal play often matter more than penetration
• Common mistakes that quietly kill desire
• Real, practical tips for having great sex regardless of size

We also kick things off with a clear, medically accurate guide to measuring penis length and girth, because many men think they’re “small” when they’re not.

Honest. Sex-positive. No shame—just real talk.

Here is your link to episode part  1: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1692988/episodes/14322290

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Chapters

• 1:47 Welcome And Topic Setup
• 4:11 Measuring Accurately: Length And Girth
• 11:33 Preferences Across Ages And Bodies
• 20:25 Oral Sex: Why Smaller Can Shine
• 27:10 Penetration, Fit, And The Puzzle Piece Idea
• 39:43 Confidence, Shame, And Partner Dynamics
• 46:57 Practical Tips: Toys, Hands, And Grinding
• 54:55 Anal Sex: Where Smaller Often Wins
• 59:21 Closing Thoughts And Listener Feedback

Transcript

SPEAKER_01: 0:55

Hi, this is Annette Vinadetti, your hostess for Locker Room Talk and Chops, the podcast that likes to think of itself as the queer NPR of raunchy women's sex talk. You are about to sit in on the kind of conversations women have on their girls' nights out or behind closed doors while enjoying delicious drinks and dishing about sex. Being fun, honest, and feminist as fuck, and always with the goal of fighting the patriarchy, one female orgasm at a time. Welcome to the locker room. Today's Talk Sex with a Net Topic is the truth about sex with smaller penises, part two, three women way in. Two years ago, I launched part one of this conversation. And to date, it is, I believe, my most listened to podcast episode right above my episode called Sex with Monster Cocks or something like that. It's was about big penises. That episode has not even ranked as high as this one has. I've received all of your comments, your thoughts, your questioning the reality of what the women on that episode had to say about their preferences over the years. I've gathered them up, I've thought about them. And then I found out recently that on February 1st, it is national or maybe international, I'm not sure, measure a penis day. And I thought to myself, what better time could there be than to bring this topic back around? So I reached out to my community of women who are sex positive and have a lot of experience. And I asked who would be willing to come and talk about this topic with me. And I have two friends with me today who are eager to weigh in on the topic and tell you about their experience, their thoughts, give you their advice. We're gonna dive in a little bit deeper. We're gonna look at your questions and we're gonna offer you some new insight. But before we dive in, I have to remind you that I'm over on OnlyFans. And there I am sharing my sex and intimacy how-to's, demonstrations, audio guided self-pleasure meditations, and an opportunity to ask your own personalized questions. You can find me there with my handle at Talk Sex withinet. You can find me over on Substack doing a whole lot of the same, minus the demos. And my handle there is at Talk Sex withinet. You can also scroll down to the show notes, and of course, I'll have all the links to wherever you want to find me there. And I can't wait to see you there. But for now, I want to introduce you to the two women who are going to be talking with me about the truth about sex with smaller penises. My first friend who is here is Sloane. Sloan, can you tell my listeners a little bit about you?

SPEAKER_00: 4:09

Sure. I've been on my sex positive journey for about 10 years now. I'm bisexual and just been trying to have all the possible sexual experiences I can, all the adventures, and it's been quite a ride for many reasons.

SPEAKER_01: 4:28

And and you've had sex with some small penises. I just want to verify. Yes. Yes, absolutely. So she is qualified for this conversation. And then my other friend is Miranda. Miranda, can you tell our listeners just a little bit more about you?

SPEAKER_00: 4:43

Yeah, hi, thank you. So I am 30. I spent my 20s predominantly in two really long relationships. So for the past two, three years, I've been able to kind of explore my sexuality a lot more with a wide range of sizes and abilities. So yeah, I'm glad to be here, glad to talk about it.

SPEAKER_01: 5:10

So I want to note this is going to be a nice and interesting conversation because we've got one person here who's in her 30s. We've got another who is in her 40s. And as you all know, I am in my 50s. So this gives you some age range because I have had questions pop up that have to do with age and preference. So we'll get to that. But I'm excited for this conversation. I think it's an important one to have because it clearly is a topic that impacts a lot of men out there. And the more women you can hear speak on this topic, the more I think that you'll feel better about yourself regardless of size and be better prepared to have great sex regardless of size as well. By the end of this episode, you are going to have more input on what women really think about small penises. But more importantly than that, we're all going to be giving you tips on what's made sex really great with partners who were below average, right? So there's going to be some great tips at the end of this and ways to impress her regardless of size, but also to feel really fucking confident in the bed, right? That's what we want. So, hey guys, are you ready to dive into a conversation about sex with small penises? Because I'm super stoked about this. Yeah, it's ready to go. Cheers.

SPEAKER_02: 6:41

Cheers.

SPEAKER_01: 6:42

I'm going to kick this episode off with how to measure your penis. Because before you go down the rabbit hole of thinking you have a small penis, I think it's important that at the very least you know how to measure your penis accurately. And then I'm also going to give you the standards for small, medium, and large penises. And these are, when I say standards, I don't know, public standards, medical standards, but the measure that most people go by. So this will also inform the rest of our conversation. So for measure penis day, February 1st, put it on your calendar. Here's what you're going to do: you are going to do the bone press method. I think this is like the gold standard. So you are going to take a firm ruler and you are going to measure it when it's fully erect. You're going to place the ruler along the top side of the penis. So as I understand that, that's the side of your penis that lays against your belly when it's hard. Right? You're going to gently press the ruler into the pubic bone and measure from the pubic bone to the tip. This method is known as the bone press length and is the medical standard. Now, of course, we want to know about girth because the first thing you guys all asked about when this episode came out was girth. We are going to be talking about girth as well today. So also with your girth, you're going to measure it when you are fully erect. That's important. You're going to use a soft measuring tape or a piece of string. I think string would probably be easier. You're going to wrap it around the thickest part of the shaft. You're going to keep it snug but not too tight, right? Because that's going to make it smaller. You don't want that. And you're going to record the measurement as a circumference. Now, here's some helpful notes. Measure them more than once and use the average. I think you're going to find that probably is going to vary a little bit, especially if you're maybe a little OCD at this point because of sort of being self-conscious. I think it's a good idea to do it a couple of times. Avoid measuring when arousal is inconsistent. So get really good and hard before you measure it. Right. And a little fun note, girth often plays a larger role in sensation than length. Well, we'll get to we'll tell you what we think about that, right? Now I want to get to the standards for size. Small or below average length, small or below average is a length under 4.5 inches. Girth under 4.25 inches. Why does that seem really thick to me in my mind? Yeah. It seems like huge. All right. All right. Average is length about of about, so an average size is a length of about 5.1 to 5.5 inches. Average girth is about 4.5 to 4.8 inches. And this is where most people fall based on measured clinical studies. That just sounds so big to me in Girth. Yeah, no, I agree. It sounds really thick. I'm sure I will get plenty of comments if I've got it wrong. Large is the length of six inches and up. Girth is five inches and up. That's considered large. This range is statistically less human. So there you guys got it. That's what we're working with when we talk about size and smaller penises. It's penises that fall below that average. I want to start by asking you both, and I'm going to start with Sloan. Do you have a preference for penis size?

SPEAKER_00: 10:50

I don't think I do. I haven't. I think a lot of my play and a lot of my turn on has been from foreplay and toys and a lot of other things. And a lot of my orgasms are linked to those other things and not necessarily like penis or motion or size. And that's been my experience.

SPEAKER_01: 11:15

Right. Miranda, what about you?

SPEAKER_00: 11:18

So I think I generally prefer like medium to like the larger, or I guess average to larger. But I know like part of it for me is I like a little bit of a challenge. So that's I think where that comes from. But I know I have had smaller partners and it's still been pleasurable. I just think my preference is probably average to larger.

SPEAKER_01: 11:45

That's interesting. And I did have a request to have a size queen on for this conversation. I do you consider yourself a size queen, Miranda? I would say so. Yeah. You are. Yeah. So you were gentle when you were like, I prefer medium to large. You like a you like a big penis.

SPEAKER_00: 12:06

Yeah, because it's like I said, it's like a challenge. And so, like, I know our bodies can adapt. So just watching, I guess, feeling my body adapt to something that doesn't fit at first is kind of exciting and like thrilling. So yeah, I would probably fall under that category.

SPEAKER_01: 12:28

I want to come back to that. And but beforehand, to be fair, I did say three women. So I'm gonna throw in my preference. And I would say I have talked about on this podcast a lot that I am smaller inside internally. And so length for me, really long penises aren't super fun for me. If there's just so much of them that they're banging on my cervix, I just yeah, I just get angry. I do like a certain girth, though. I've found that girth actually is pleasurable for me, like a little bit of a fatter penis. And I think that's because it really hit my G spot well. And the interesting thing about this is where I've really discovered what I like is by having strap-on sex with a woman and trying out different sizes. And there was a strap-on that was unusually large, but it was really thick. And the thickness is, I think, what helps me because I sometimes get self-conscious during penetrative sex because I can't take very much, right? So I get shame kind of on the other side of things, which is oh, I'm so small or so shallow that I can't take like really good pounding, like other women can. And and so this brings me back to you talking about feeling that pride with bigger penises of being able to take it. It makes sense to me. That would be the counterside to the shame that I experience in not being able to take it.

SPEAKER_00: 14:27

Yeah, no, I I can see where it does feel like I don't want to say not adequate, but again, it's like that's where I know women come in or men come in all different shapes and sizes, right? And that like it's almost fit like a puzzle piece where there's gonna be some that are larger for let's say like larger, I don't want to say larger women, but yeah, essentially like more space down there versus like smaller penises for women who don't have as much space. But I mean, yeah, I've been with a few men who have told me they haven't been able to have sex with some women because they're too large. So I can totally understand like where you're coming from with that. Like it just doesn't work. Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_01: 15:17

Sloan, weigh in here.

SPEAKER_00: 15:20

Okay. I do appreciate. I mean, if I think about the dildos I get at the store, I usually don't seek out smaller ones. But I think when I met with another human being and we're playing, it's it's a little bit different. And I'll say I really appreciate a smaller one because I have an incre I love to give oral. I love it, I love it, I love it. But I have the most sensitive gag reflex. And I also found out I have a tongue tie that's like made it even harder for me to give oral without a gag reflex. So you know what? That is a huge confidence booster for me when somebody's on the smaller side and I can get them pretty far. And I'm not struggling with it. That's that's a bonus for me.

SPEAKER_01: 16:06

It's fascinating. So it makes you feel good about yourself when there is someone with a smaller penis that you can really pleasure and do all the kind of dirty girl stuff with without like suffering or struggling. Suffering. I mean, right, yes. And you I think you've seen me struggle before. So I have. I have Lone and I are very close. I've seen you struggle. I've seen the result of that struggle, which made him feel really good. But that's fascinating. So it's funny, as I listen to both of you talk, I am now looking at size in a way I haven't before. I know that I have enjoyed giving oral to someone with a penis, but that I start to kind of dread it if they're too big. And I know that my jaw is just gonna get tired too quick. Right. And I do think oral sex is such an important part of good sex, right? And I don't have that problem when I go down on a woman, right? Like I you can do oral forever, and you're for me, there is no jaw problem ever. But then when it's a man, we got five minutes, and then I'm like, oh. So I haven't had that problem with people who are average or below average. Then it's like, oh, I'm just in a fun play situation.

SPEAKER_00: 18:22

No, I agree. Smaller definitely makes oral easier, and like that, I also I totally appreciate you saying that because that reminded me, yes, I do like smaller in that sense, which because of my other sizes that I enjoy, I've learned to just use a hand and sometimes two hands. But I do agree, there's a part of it that is really flattering when you can get them all the way in. Luckily, my tongue tie was like lasered when I was a kid, so that might help. And then I don't have a massive gag reflex knocking on wood, but yeah, that I I'm glad you said that because I agree. Smaller makes it more just flattering in that sense.

SPEAKER_01: 19:12

So, do we all agree that at least when it comes to giving oral, we have a preference for okay? It's unanimous, folks. Unanimous. So that is unanimous. On this panel, we prefer smaller penises for giving oral sex.

SPEAKER_00: 19:35

I feel yeah, I feel like with the larger sizes, the best I can do is treat it like a lollipop. And that's that's I can manage. I can't if you're getting the lollipop treatment, there's some licking. It's really like having to put in work, like when it's yeah. No, I agree.

SPEAKER_01: 19:56

I have said over and over again on this podcast to the men listening: if you want a woman to lose her desire in bed, turn sex into work. The minute it goes from being sexy and fun and something we're doing together, and it shifts into work mode, is the minute our desire and our libido is going to drop and orgasm is going to become much more difficult for us. I've definitely had that during giving oral sex, where I'm just like, okay, this isn't fun anymore. It's like my jaws hurting, but I know I haven't been doing it that long. And then I get in my head about performance and pain and being tired and maybe a little irritated.

SPEAKER_00: 20:46

Especially if you're doing it for a long time already. You almost get in your head and you're like, okay, maybe it's like 30 more seconds. Like I can do 30 more seconds, right? And then you're like, okay, it's been 30 seconds. Like, what if it takes 10 minutes? You're like, I don't think I can do 10 minutes of this. Okay, I'll say my trick is I like to sit on a magic wand while I'm giving head. Like I really like that.

SPEAKER_01: 21:12

Really sad. That was actually that was actually a tip that was given. I just posted a podcast on giving blowjobs, and that was a tip that was given. And you're gonna need some incentive if your jaw is hurting and you're dealing with a large penis. So, guys, small penis owners out there, I'm just telling you, we're excited about having oral sex with you, right? Yes, yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 21:38

So much of it is just play and just finding pleasure with the way you're touching and stroking and licking. And it was just we don't have to put it in this whole like section of like it has to be penetration for it to be good. Like it's just it's play, right?

SPEAKER_01: 21:54

And I think that's where sex is really good is when you you can be playful and do lots of things. It's not all about the penetration, but let's talk about the penetrative sex. So we've talked about the oral leading up to it, but we get to the penetration. Now we've all been with people who have small penises during penetration. Let's start out with just generally, what is your general thought on the experiences you've had with people with smaller penises? Start with Esloan. Okay.

SPEAKER_00: 22:34

I think it's been for me, I think I'm even a little bit more at a disadvantage there because I feel like I am very fleshy down there. So any length that a smaller penis owner would have is kind of maybe there's like a whole like three-quarters of an inch that might be lost just with that. And it, but it does become a lot of like rubbing and that kind of sensation. And the pleasure isn't so much from the penetration. I've had a partner who was was very tall, I'd venture to say maybe about two inches. So I think around that it was very much, it was very much just kind of some rubbing. And there was the time and the space I gave him for like his rubbing and his like kind of somewhat penetrat penetrative pleasure, but it wasn't the kind of Penetrative pleasure that I really enjoy, obviously, since there wasn't a lot of penetration going on. Well, but it was like kind of the rubbing that just like put. Like I enjoyed that. And that was like that was one experience. So, but I I want to hear what Miranda has to say. Well, so okay, I want to start off by saying a lot of it can be like mental stimulation, right? Like when there's all this foreplay of things being said and like this this kind of attitude being created, and like that helps a lot. And I do like the feeling of like rubbing, like tip to cli, is my friends and I say. So that feels really great. When I do tend to get in my hand a little bit when they're smaller, because I know that I can handle larger sizes. I worry that essentially I'm gonna feel loose for them. And so that's where like I don't want my parts and my sizes and whatnot to make them feel like they can't feel pleasure, like on my behalf. So I know sometimes I'll even try to like like kegle a little bit and like help the situation, but it doesn't, yeah. Like Slon said, is it very much I think comes from the like rubbing in the playing more than it does like penetration when it comes to a smaller penis?

SPEAKER_01: 25:09

I love that you point out because this resonates with me. Some of the difficulty that exists with having sex with someone with a smaller penis is your own concern for either their pleasure or how they're perceiving you, or how you're making them feel. Are you making them feel self-conscious because they aren't getting as much penetration? It's more of this like empathetic feeling, this concern that resonates with me, where I've been like, oh, I don't want this person to feel self-conscious. Or I've been like, oh, am I just extra wet today? Because sometimes that happens too, even with an average penis where I'm extra wet and it doesn't, there's not maybe as much sensation. Or you can have a penis that's thinner but longer, and there's not as much sensation because of wetness, or our own internal size can vary day to day, which I will say I want to come back to the responses to sex with small penises, part one was widely and largely positive, with a lot of gratitude for our openness and curiosity. And a lot of people really felt better after sort of hearing our feelings. Of course, as there always is, there are some bad characters out there who are clearly angry and have dealt with a lot of self-consciousness. And the first thing they would throw down and over and over again is, what about the size of a woman's vagina? Men never talk about the size of a woman's vagina. A, yes, they do. For sure. I mean, when I was growing up, I don't know if this resonates with you, but I always heard guys throwing out like Grand Canyon comments or whatever, putting women down for having a big hole. I would say it's fair to say that plenty of women are a little self-conscious about their size. Whether it's like me, I'm too, sometimes I feel like I'm too small. And it genuinely causes me to feel self-conscious in sexual situations where I want to be like, I want to be like the girl who can get into the pounding and the girl who can take, you know what I mean? It's a nice, fun, dirty feeling. And I'm like, I am, I'm so I can't. And it I feel at times like it's a deficit. And I also know there have been times, oddly enough, because we do vary in size, where I've been with a smaller partner and I've been a little self-conscious because I'm like, oh, do I not feel tight enough to him? It's strange how it can vary like that for me. Does any of this resonate with you guys? How do you feel about that common sentiment that was thrown down by this certain segment of men about vagina size and blaming it on our size?

SPEAKER_00: 28:08

Like I said earlier, it's kind of like puzzle pieces, right? Like there's obviously going to be two people who fit really well where some, it's just it's not gonna work no matter what you do or try. But what I kind of thought of when you were talking is men have the ability to like in locker rooms, like they kind of see what's out there and they're able to compare. And like if you're a heterosexual woman, you don't really know like what the average size of a woman is supposed to be, but it's not something that's like on the external part of our body, like you might see breasts, like that's a bit different, right? Because we can see it. So I don't think that that helps women feel like confident in their size, you know what I mean? It's because we just don't know what other women are working with. There's like yeah, that doesn't help us like get out of our head, and they're like, nope, I'm fine. This is gonna be great. Like, so and that's I think what kind of gets me in my head is like I just hope that from what his past experiences are with those sizes. I hope that I can feel pleasurable for him. There's no ruler for us, is there? There's no objective measurement, is there? Not that I know of exists.

SPEAKER_01: 29:29

Well, I think that that's really maybe a truth that a lot of men don't realize is that we women live with our own internalized worry, stress, and shame around our vulva and our vagina. Because again, if you're now I'm not I'm not heterosexual, I've seen quite a few vaginas here, but it took me a while, right? But it's not something we see even in the locker room, even when we were younger and we were around other naked women. First of all, women tend to cover up more. So you don't really get to see their vulva, what you could see, anyways, in the locker room. But when you do, usually there's hair and you it's not like you get up close and look and go, oh, that's what a someone else's vagina or vulva looks like. And certainly we can't see inside. We have no idea what that's like. So that lack of knowing also creates a stress. So for all of the angry men out there who responded that way, of course, we're self-conscious. And our and again, our vaginal canal can change in size throughout the month. There are times during the month when we're deeper. There's times throughout the month when we're wider. As we age, it changes as well. I know you all think we get super huge from having babies. That's not necessarily a reality. I hate to break it to you, and I know I gotta take that one from you when you're throwing insults. Not true. But again, you did bring up it's like puzzle pieces. Some penises are gonna fit us better, regardless of size. Like, I've definitely been with a small penis that was just shaped right, that it just like seriously just hit, poked my G G spot perfectly every fucking time. And I was kind of shocked by it because at first I remember thinking when I saw it, I'm like, oh, it's pretty small. And then we started having sex, and I'm like, dang, that that bugger's shaped just right to hit my G spot. And so orgasming was super easy. And I've been with men who were big and I looked at it, I was like, oh, this is gonna be fun. And then it was like, oh, it's not hitting anything, and I'm just in pain, and he doesn't know how to use it. Resonates.

SPEAKER_00: 32:46

Yeah, definitely. Yeah. I still really going back to what Miranda said about like puzzle pieces. I think, man, that that really works because sometimes it does, and sometimes it doesn't fit.

SPEAKER_01: 32:58

Let me clarify though. Have you had really good sex with men with small penises? That's all I want to know. Have you had really good sex that you were like, you got done and you're like, that was really fucking good sex with men with small penises? Miranda, I want to start with you.

SPEAKER_00: 33:15

Penetration-wise, okay. So, in general, yes, I have had enjoyable sex with smaller men, but there's just so many like factors involved. It's never gonna be just from penetration. And I know I can orgasm from penetration, which isn't always like a common thing for women. It tends to come easier with medium to large, but it's just there's so much like the mental stimulation, the foreplay, like what you're actually doing when you're having sex. Is there more rubbing? Is there like fingers involved? Are there toys involved? But when it's I tend to not enjoy it if all those other factors are lacking, and it kind of just jumps to like penetration.

SPEAKER_01: 34:02

But can you enjoy sex with someone with a larger penis if it just jumps to penetration, or do you still need it?

SPEAKER_00: 34:10

Okay, yes. Because I get I can like feel my body get excited when I see that it's large, and it's almost like I don't need as much foreplay because I'm feeling the thrill of the challenge.

SPEAKER_01: 34:26

Right, right. So there you go, guys. You asked for a size queen and you have the truth from a size queen. That's something that excites her, and that's her preference. Makes sense. But tip number one, and I think we've already covered it, even with someone who's a size queen, you can have good sex with her and pleasure her by adding in all of the other stuff, right? You're still going to have a really good sexual experience. Sloan, tell me from your perspective, have you had really good sex with someone with a smaller penis?

SPEAKER_00: 34:59

I have. I have. But I'll I will also say that it's not penetration alone that will give me an orgasm. Very rarely. I usually need a hand down there. I need I need a toy down there. And penetration can be a bonus and it can like send me over the edge. Like, but it's like usually just penetration alone, like it won't, it won't get me to orgasm. So I think that's so, and that kind of again goes back to me saying like no matter what size you are, like, there's still plenty of joy and pleasure to be had there.

SPEAKER_01: 35:38

Right. I think ultimately, well, before I move on, I'll give my experience. I've definitely had really good sex with people of all different sizes and even men who are on the shorter side and smaller side. And I I think for me, something that's hard to talk about sometimes in these podcast episodes is also like the passion. Right. Like when I think about the things that get me hooked, because I think that's what men really want to know. If I'm on the smaller side, can I like make a woman yearn for me? Is she gonna yearn for me if I don't have a big penis, right? And I think maybe that's part of the little story that's going on in the back of their mind that if they don't have this big penis, then women won't yearn for them. And I can tell you, I know that I've been very passionate in the past about partners who had mid to small size penises because it was like the chemistry, right? That like sometimes there's just hot chemistry and the make out and the and the wanting and the desiring of each each other. And that's something that's a little less ta tangible to talk about. It's it's like an energetic connection, which supersedes in my mind all of that other stuff, right? Yeah. And so I want that to reassure men who have smaller penises, just like it should reassure women who have smaller breaths or who have had mastectomies, or feel their body is flawed in some way, or think their vagina is too tight or too too loose, that there are bigger things that come on deck that that lend itself to someone getting addicted to you and wanting you again and again and again. I think the thing though that can stand in the way of that kind of energetic exchange when there's someone who believes that they're too small is that you get self-conscious and that confidence shrinks. And if you're not confident, it's really hard to have a hot connection. Yeah. That's kind of my take. My take on sex with people with smaller penises. Like if I got somebody who has a smaller penis and they come at me and that they're passionate, and we have that chemistry and they know how to do all the other stuff, then I'm not even gonna really notice the penis size.

SPEAKER_00: 38:15

I had a partner I was crazy about. And across the years of our sexual intimacy, there were it wasn't all around penetration. We would play for like more than an hour at a time. And it wasn't, God, look, I maybe 20% or less was penetration. So much of it was toys and playing with each other in other ways. And but I also want to like talk about the concept of maybe like penetrating people energetically. I think that's huge. And being able to like connect with somebody, and that's like if people are worried about size, you can fill the gap by like penetrating people energetically and being present and being with their body. I think that goes a long way. So yeah, I don't know if I'm alone in this healing, but I don't even necessarily have to orgasm for me to enjoy the like session. You know what I mean? Like, there's just so much like yeah, energy. Like, I love making out, like I love it. So it's like that, like shot and heavy, like you're naked, there's rubbing. Like, I don't have to, yeah, like they said orgasm to be really, really enjoyed by it. But I've had men be worried because I didn't orgasm, and they're like, oh, well, okay, just let me recoup and we can go again. And it's like, well, I still had a good time. Like, I don't want you to, it's like that work feeling. I don't want them to feel like they have to work for it if I don't get there because I'm still enjoying it nonetheless. Right.

SPEAKER_01: 40:04

This is this is a good time to talk about one of the main comments I get hit with. And it's something that I said in the last video that people I've had a couple of people bring up. And it's fair. One of the things I brought up, I had a partner who had a small penis, or at least on the smaller side. And we dated now for years, like a long time. And his penis size was consistently brought up. And it became a turnoff to me. Not only that, it made sex not fun because if I didn't come, it was gonna go back to him like immediately afterwards, bringing up his penis size and and like kind of looking for my reassurance through self-degradation and stuff like that, and not in a fun, like consensual way. And it was such a turn off to me. It became a problem. And my listeners were like, well, it's not very kind of you to complain about them trying to communicate with you their feelings around their size and that being a turnoff. That's a fair comment, first of all. And I appreciate that. It was a very kind feedback for the most most part. But I want to say this was over a long period of time in a relationship. And I think that there comes a point in time where we all have to look at the things that we feel self-conscious about in our bodies, whether it's your penis size, whether it's my shallow vagina size, and own our own shame, right? Our own self-consciousness and not make it our partners. Uh, it's not about our partners, right? It was never about me. I was happy with the sex life we had. I own orgasm easily. And pretty soon what happened was I started faking orgasm because I didn't want to have to have that conversation. I was ashamed that I couldn't orgasm. And then I knew he was gonna feel bad about it. And then sex became work. It was like emotional work and reassurance because my body wasn't performing. And there comes a point in time on bed where I think it's like if you are listening to this right now and you're feeling self-conscious about your penis, it is fair. We live in a world that assigns good and bad to different physical aspects. And it's so unfortunate and it's so much bullshit. Like we all know that all bodies of different sizes and shapes are valid and beautiful and sexy. And we all have our preferences, that's fine. But there comes a point in time, especially in sexual situations, where I think you have to take ownership and like be like, all right, it's my thing. Like, I'm self-conscious about my penis size or vagina size, and I'm not gonna put that on someone else. I'm gonna do the work to love my body as it is. And if my partner puts down my penis or says something about my vagina or whatever it is, that is not the partner for you. Right? Like, fuck that person.

SPEAKER_00: 43:13

Yeah, absolutely. Because it just takes something we're being self-conscious about, and then someone that we care about their opinion to comment negatively on it. And I mean, our brain just goes like it overworks. You know what I mean? And then that essentially travels with us throughout life until we get enough validation from other people we respect that that's not the case. And so it's really hard. I mean, yeah, that person's definitely not for you if they're commenting negatively on something that you're already self-conscious about, whether it's penis size, breast size, like your physical weight, like any of that. It's not, I don't think that's okay.

SPEAKER_01: 43:56

Right. And and a lot of comments I got were men saying, well, we feel this way because women make fun of our penis size and like they make all the penis sized comments that are made when men are are acting poorly, it's like, oh, he must have a small dick. Look, men make comments about women all of the time, their looks as well. This is a human thing that happens all of the time. And you have to choose who you're gonna listen to, right? If you are in bed with someone and they insult your physicality, I suggest you get the fuck up and you walk the fuck out. You can flip them off on the way, right? But why the fuck would you listen to or take seriously what someone like that thinks? Right? And that's yours to own. And it happens to women too. So what I would say to men who say, Well, what about I had I've had men who have written me and said, Well, but my girlfriend says this and that about my penis. Well, maybe you need a new girlfriend because someone who loves you will be like, I love you the way you are, and let's create a great sex life together. And you'll figure out how to do that with all the tools that you have. Look, women date women and and they don't have a penis and they still have amazing sex, right? And they don't have they have no penis. So true.

unknown: 45:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 45:24

They fall deeply in love and get addicted to each other and all of that stuff, right?

SPEAKER_00: 45:28

Yeah, it's essentially saying like your puzzle piece is a problem instead of finding a solution to make it not a problem.

SPEAKER_01: 45:35

I want to wrap this up with giving men who believe they are smaller. And I say that because I think sometimes men think that they're smaller and they aren't. But for men who are medium and below, I would like to just list out some tips in the bedroom for making sex great and that are gonna make her want to come back again and again, regardless of her pref preference, right? And I'm gonna start with confidence. Work on your confidence in who you are. Even if you aren't confident in knowing all the things to do in the bedroom, you got plenty of time to learn that with your new partner. But I think you start by working on your own confidence and self love so that when you walk into the bedroom with a woman, she just feels that energy from you that you know, you're there. You're happy to be there. You're a good person, and you're ready to get sexy and have fun.

SPEAKER_00: 46:37

Yeah, I agree. Confidence, I think, is huge. Walking in knowing that you can do the job instead of like very uncertain tit toeing like that doesn't hit the same. I am going to add communication. And this is where I will just pull in my story with somebody the one who was about two inches. Remember one of the like first times we got together. I was going down on him. And after a while it became very clear that he was uncomfortable. Like and he was like not confident. Instead of maybe just leaning back and just enjoying the sensation, I could tell he was like very in his head. And I guess I wish I had known about that sooner. Maybe that he like wasn't comfortable with me going down on him or wasn't there yet. I think knowing that might have helped the encounter feel more sexy for him and for me. So I think I think that's important. And then I don't know, whatever you guys have to add about communication as well.

SPEAKER_01: 47:39

I want to say that having conversations about what each person likes before you're in the bedroom is great. I understand sometimes you don't get the opportunity. But even once you're in the bedroom, before you start, maybe you're holding each other and making out, like taking just a moment to get some consent and get some basic idea of what you both like so that you feel confident when you start, right? But if you can talk about sex ahead of time and kind of get a feel for what your partner likes, then you're going to feel more confident in the bedroom. So do you like oral? Do you like toys? I mean, I think there's nothing hotter than a man who has his own little stash of toys and knows how to use them, whether you own a wand that you're like, hey, do you like toys? Because I like that. I know some people feel uncomfortable if the toys aren't their own, but, or at least somebody who knows how to use the toys that I have and isn't intimidated by them. But just having little conversations. Do you like a little spanking? Do you want to get a little kinky? Do you want to call me daddy? I don't know. Have those conversations and start like, start hot, right?

SPEAKER_00: 49:02

Yeah, I think my tip would be just knowing that your penis and having penetrative sex isn't the only tool in the toolbox. They're just, you can, you don't have to come both of your orgasm from the same format. You know what I mean? Like they might want to penetrate, and then that's what makes them come. But then maybe the woman will come from oral, and it's like everyone's still happy, everyone's still having a good time.

SPEAKER_01: 49:33

Also, don't make your orgasm the end of sex if she hasn't come. Like, if you come, you can then go down, you can use your fingers, really learn how to use your hand, folks. I had an ex who after, if he came before me afterwards, would use his hands to do wonderful things until I was fulfilled. And it was great, right? And so many men don't do that. I'm telling you right now, if you're a guy who does that, and not as like because you have to, but because you like act be really into it, she's gonna, she's gonna like that. She is going to remember you. She's gonna be like, that's a go-getter. I like a go-getter. Magic fingers. Magic fingers. And speaking of, I have lots of top tutorials on my OnlyFans page for how to touch a Vulva and a clit. So if you want to know how to get confident in the bedroom, there you go. Go over there and watch them and bring those to the table and should be like, how to do that. I won't tell anyone. They are secret. But also grinding, right? Smaller penises, she can grind on you. Love a grinding.

unknown: 50:49

Love a grinding.

SPEAKER_01: 50:50

Love that element. Right. And and she's gonna be more likely to orgasm because she can rub her clit up against your body or even your penis with that grinding motion. And she's not gonna have her cervix pounded. I'm gonna say, plus in my book.

SPEAKER_00: 51:06

Absolutely. Yeah, grinding your clit against is just it feels really good. I mean, when I give oral, I'll like grind against like a man's leg. So it's like even if it's not like I said, penetrative sex, it still feels really good. And I can still accomplish the mission and get there.

SPEAKER_01: 51:27

And and would you even come back for round two?

SPEAKER_00: 51:31

Yeah, depending if the vibe is right. Because again, it's the confidence too. Like if they're not as into it, like I've had men be really turned on by me doing that. And then I've had men like kind of confused. And if they're not excise about it, then I'm like, oh, well, I won't do that again for you. Because I don't want to make anyone feel uncomfortable, right? I want it to all be mutual and like wanted and exciting, but to each their own.

SPEAKER_01: 51:58

And if you don't like a woman grinding on your leg, I don't know. That that's worse than than any size problem you might have, whether it's on the big side or the small side. Like, come on, dude. That's just just my opinion. All right, like any last thoughts for the listeners? Anything that you feel like they really should know about the truth about sex with smaller penises, starting with Slim.

SPEAKER_00: 52:27

I think it goes back to again, like the orgasm isn't the end-all be all of a sexual encounter. And yeah, hands and friction and so many other things can work in your favor. And hell yeah, I'm gonna enjoy some oral from like a small penis owner. Please, bring it on. What I what I kind of want to add is if you are an owner of a small penis and you believe the only way to get the job done and to get her to orgasm is through a penetrative sex, I would just highly recommend you get out of that mindset because I think that's almost setting us up for failure. Like it a man setting himself up for failure is if you know you're self-conscious about your tool, and then you think that that tool is the only way to get the job done, then you're just you have to be more open-minded than that. And you have to recognize that there's just so many other ways to have fun and to feel good. It doesn't have to be the one one trick pony.

SPEAKER_01: 53:39

You guys, I can't believe we didn't bring this up. Anal sex. Oh smaller penises are the best for anal sex, and anal sex is so fun. I'm not, there is a size where it's like, no, we're never going to do it, right? But anal sex is something that a lot of women love. And we definitely are gonna, for the most part, prefer a smaller penis for that. Can we talk about that really quick before we close out, Sloan?

SPEAKER_00: 54:07

Yes. Oh gosh, I I love some anal. And I love not feeling shocked after the entry of like something that's incredibly large, that moment of like clenching and discomfort. Oh my gosh. Yeah, it makes it makes a big difference in a really good way when it's when it's smaller and not large. Yeah, the first time I tried anal, it was with an ex who I was very, very comfortable with, but we were together for years at this point, and he was nine inches, and that was not an enjoyable experience for me. It really, I mean, without being too graphic, there wasn't even like much thrusting going on. It was just slowly entering, and then he luckily orgasmed by the time he got fully in, but it was way too painful for me to want to like try it out again and like get used to it and find the pleasure in it. But then I did have another partner who would honestly get off more often than in for anal sex, and he would regular, like just bachinal sex. And so with him, I did, and he was smaller for sure, like like small, medium, maybe, and that I definitely prefer smaller when it comes to anal. I will see a penis, and if they're like, Do you want to try anal? And I'll go, no, you are way too big. I already know it. There's like a threshold for me.

SPEAKER_01: 55:41

I think that it's fair to say that a lot of men are into anal sex. I mean, I'm gonna tell I've got like a like a 95% rate of across my lifetime men asking. Like sometimes before we've even gotten to vaginal sex, they're asking about butt sex. And I'm like, what the fuck, man? So if you are on the smaller side, you're more likely to get a yeah, let's do it than like someone who's bigger. If you're on the bigger side, buddy, mm-mm. Mm-mm. And I do, and again, I want to say also, it can be so enjoyable and pleasurable for women to receive anal sex. I mean, I've had some of my best orgasms from that, but I'm not even gonna try it with someone who's over a certain size. Like that's not fun for me at all. So another bonus if you are a guy with a smaller penis and you're a little self-conscious about, oh, when it comes to vaginal penetration, I wish I felt like bigger to her. Ask her about anal sex. Give her a butt fucking of a lifetime. I mean, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, she can use like a toy inside, you can penetrate her from the back side.

SPEAKER_00: 57:00

Yeah, coming from uh a size queen, it's like that's not even an option when it comes to anal. So it's like only small to medium get in that in that door. And even then, it's like very much on the smaller size of medium. So I totally agree. That is a hot tip from a size queen right there.

SPEAKER_01: 57:22

There's the stuff, guys. Plenty of loving to be had for the smaller. All right. I feel like we've we've summed this up. There's we've touched on all the points. I kind of grouped the sentiments you sent my way. I wanted to address the the most common one I got about my own comments about being frustrated about constantly being asked about cock size or the fatigue that can come from that. So I'm just giving you, I know you guys didn't like that, but I'm just saying if you are someone who is has a smaller penis and you constantly bring it up during and after sex with your partner, that is gonna be a turn on. It's okay to have that conversation, keep it out of the bedroom. And it can't be always some of that work you got to do for yourself. You got to learn to love your body the way it is and not put that on your partner, right? Let let her just enjoy the sex with you. That's that's my position on that. We talked about ways that you can improve sex, but and really a lot of what we're telling you is regardless of size, you got a size queen's point of view. This is all by luck. I did not know that she she was a size queen. She did tell me she kind of likes some bigger, but she got real honest. And I think that covers a lot of the big comments, guys. But as always, I want you to drop comments below this episode. But if there is a specific topic or sub talk topic, if you will, drop it below and I will do my best to keep answering your questions and getting you clarity. And hopefully at some point you will see the humanness in all of us and that we all are self-conf conscious about different things about our body when it comes to sex, whether it's breast size or butt size or stomach or vaginal canal size, right? We all are self-conscious and we've all heard insults. Naming our body parts, small penises aren't the only insult out there, guys. Women get them too. We're all in the same boat so we can work together to heal those wounds and feel good about our body and have some really good sex. Any last comments, Sloan?

SPEAKER_00: 59:37

No, I'm just looking forward to the comments because I'd love to hear feedback about the tips, if like approaching it with confidence and communication or like goes a long way for people. Absolutely, Miranda.

SPEAKER_01: 59:51

Any last thoughts?

SPEAKER_00: 59:52

I just want to add to when you're constantly putting yourself down, and that goes for not just penis size, but like ball size, being uncircumcised or not. There was a man who was constantly like every conversation we would have, it would come back to him not being circumcised. And he's like, is that gonna be okay? Is that gonna be okay? And to the point we never even got to having sex because I was just so turned off by it. Like when you have that confidence, you can truly make a lot look better than however you feel about it.

SPEAKER_01: 1:00:25

Speaking of balls, I will be coming back with a podcast all about balls. I am surprised I haven't done that yet, but it is on the docket. So you can also drop your questions about balls below. Thank you guys so much, Sloan and Miranda, for joining me and for talking about this topic honestly. And we definitely brought up some new things. Good luck, everybody, measuring your penis February 1st. I think this is gonna drop on the second. So if you haven't done it, feel free to use the method I gave you and know that whatever that measurement is, it is absolutely perfect. And there's gonna be someone out there who's gonna be thrilled to play with it. All right. Thanks so much, guys, for showing up and joining me.

SPEAKER_02: 1:01:06

Yeah, thank you. Thank you.

SPEAKER_01: 1:01:09

And until next time, I'll see y'all in the locker room. Cheers.